Handling Control with Duplication

(from the discontinued RET Forum)

Some clients want to control the flow of a process once they learn how it’s done. They want to tell you how to do the wand, how to speak to them during RET, and even how to do RET. Sometimes these clients will want to analyze their stuff, turning the tables on the therapist.

I was working with Connie (not her real name). She came to me as a referral from the physician I work with. He told me that Connie is a control freak, going so far as to even tell him how to do his physician work – diagnosing herself, telling him what to prescribe, etc.

RET came as a complete surprise to her. It took her two sessions of RET to start making efforts to control the session. I did the “Getting the Feeling” wand process and it worked well until she figured out how I did it. Then she would tell me when to use it, how to do it better, and what I was “missing”. It was everything I could do to keep from laughing.

So, I introduced Duplication – just having her repeat everything she’d say: “You’re doing that wrong.” “Up a little higher…” “I don’t think that will work for me…” “This is stupid” etc. I had her repeat EVERYTHING. She soon figured out the process, yet it didn’t matter – she’d just have to repeat it. Finally, she got really frustrated, shut down, and I got to do some real work with her beyond her defense.

The last I saw her she had completed her college degree, she told me that she was getting along with her young daughter, and that she had a boyfriend (something very new and delightful to her).

Sometimes Duplication makes a wonderful state/pattern breaker.